I am sitting here and thinking about all of the things that I need to do and haven’t done. The list of extensive… Honey Do’s, Elder responsibilities, family stuff, personal stuff, work items, etc. I have been thinking about how, in the past, I have been known more as a guy who can “get it done” and why that seems to have changed. It made me really look at a few things in my life and I think I have some definite ideas on what is causing my delays but am not sure how to “fix it”.
I manage managers in the US, Europe, India and Malaysia. My boss works in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. As such, my work schedule gets quite interesting. As compared to 3 years ago, my work schedule was mostly 8a-5p and the evening hours could be used for anything else. Now, 2-4 nights of a given week, I will have meetings in the night (usually 8-10pm, sometimes later).
I have watched many of my friends and coworkers become complacent at work. Whether it is because the direction of the company has not energized them or if it is for other reasons, there continue to be more and more people that are working 9am-4pm, Monday through Friday.
Now, the points above have been work related but I think that my issues stem from exactly that. My family life, my church responsibilities and everything else suffer because I am not doing what God wants me to do in my job. God doesn’t want me to be of the world but only in the world. I am starting to see that my disobedience to God at work is spilling over into my other areas of my life. For those who might start down a weird path, I am NOT saying God is “responsible” fot this — I am. However, God disciplines those He loves and I know God loves me.
The interesting question now is… what does God want me to do? Should I look for a new “position” at my company to spark new interest? Should I stay in the current role and get energized again through the Spirit? Should I look for a new job completely out of the company? Discerning God’s will has always been a struggling for me. A good friend of mine told me that I should pray 30 minutes a day for 30 days on the topic. I have failed miserably at trying this, but it might be just what I need to do. I also need to search my heart for unconfessed sin to see if there is something wrong in my relationship with God.
All of this to say… my work life sure does drag down the rest of my life’s priorities. I need to change that.